I’m turning 40 this year!
To celebrate, I’m releasing my first EVER album called Pushing 40. And tomorrow, I’m sharing the next single from it, a song called “Too Old For This Shit.”
It would feel disingenuous not to talk about why this music is coming out now.
A lot of my friends are in a similar place. Same age, same conversations. We keep circling the same themes: how different things feel, how the stuff that used to fill our cups doesn’t always anymore, how much of our lives were spent striving and proving and hustling, until one day you pause and think, huh. I think I’ve done it. I think I’ve proven myself.
So what’s next?
The last decade of my life has been full in really meaningful ways. Busy. Creative. Layered. I’ve worn a lot of different hats (often all at the same time) and for a long time I genuinely prided myself on being able to switch between them quickly and competently.
Lately, though, I’ve been feeling the cost of that constant switching. The mental exhaustion of taking one hat off, putting another on and moving straight into the next thing without much space in between. What once felt energizing has started to feel heavy.
At the same time, the things that bring me joy now are surprisingly simple.
Cooking meals at home.
Doing yard work.
Going for walks with my dog.
That’s brought up some uncomfortable questions.
What does it mean if I’m satisfied with less?
Who am I if I’m not always pushing?
Going into this year, I knew I wanted to buy myself some space. A little room to breathe. And while things have been quieter on the outside the last couple of months, I’ve noticed how loud my inner critics can get when there’s less distraction. Telling me I’m not doing enough. Not being enough. That something must be wrong if things feel different.
Underneath that critical voice, though, there’s another one I’m starting to hear more clearly. A steadier, wiser voice. Maybe that’s the 40-year-old. It keeps saying the same thing: be kind to yourself.
That’s the work for me right now. Learning how to be kinder to myself; not as a cliché, but as a practice. Because I really believe that kindness creates space. For creativity. For others. For noticing what’s already here.
Letting it be enough to wake up in the morning and hear the birds.
I don’t feel the same urgency anymore to prove something or make a name at all costs. In many ways, I think I’ve already proven what I needed to prove to myself. What feels next is quieter, slower, and maybe braver.
This song lives inside all of that.
It’s not about giving up.
It’s about letting go of what no longer fits.
If any of this resonates, I’m glad you’re here.
Tomorrow, I’ll share “Too Old For This Shit.”
It’s a singalong anthem for the (middle) ages and I hope it becomes a soundtrack for the months to come!
It’s a banger; you’ve been warned!
